The Whens and Hows

I haven’t set an official start date yet for my cleanse to begin. Sometime in the next week, though. I think I’ve been waiting for things to slow down a little bit before I get going on the cleanse, but I’m realizing the “slow down” is never going to happen, which is part of the point of the whole thing – figuring out a way to be present and conscious in my life the way it is right now.
But we are just settling in to a routine, with my three-year-old starting a new school, which means he now goes five mornings a week, and my husband starting back with his teaching schedule. The two of us just returned from a trip to Montreal, and I didn’t want to be thinking too much about what I could eat or not while we were there. And now I’ve been going through all the closets and toy baskets, etc. in preparation for the garage sale, which is next weekend. In the midst of all of this, I haven’t had too much time to think about the new food plan. (I’m going to resist calling it a “diet.”)
To give an impression of how long it’s been since I’ve done this, the Web was just starting, I think, the last time. Or at any rate, I wasn’t using it much, so I wasn’t looking to see what kind of recipes or meal plans and whatnot were available on line. There are TONS, and I’m overwhelmed.
Last time, I was under the care of a chiropractor, who had his own version of the candida diet, and that’s what I followed. This consisted of brown rice, most vegetables, fruits and meats, and eggs. No corn, citrus, melon or pork. No dairy or other grains. And lots of vitamin supplements, formulas to boost the immune system and kill off the candida, which he sold.
Some of the other versions that I have looked up on-line allow some dairy but no fruit. Others say oatmeal is okay, or buckwheat or quinoa. Some allow nuts and nut butters, but some don’t. Legumes are also controversial.
There is one plan that talks in terms of stages, the first “stage,” lasting three months, is the most limited. But during stage one you can have one portion of a stage two food, and either a level one vegetable or a level three fruit.
My god. By the time I figured out what I could eat, I’d have fallen off the stage all together. And then what level would I be on?
And then there are the vitamins. Entire industries have sprung up around eradication of candida. Some companies sell vitamin formulas and on-line support, which you have to pay for. Others are only vitamins, but you have to become a selling agent before you can buy them. Most that sell vitamin formulas boast that they are the one true candida-ridding formula, and that all the others are a scam. There are separate websites which discuss one or the other formula, claiming that “the other one” doesn’t work, and that, this is a real, ordinary person writing this, and not a paid employee of the company. Hmm… sounds a little suspicious to me.
So, how do I know what will work best for me? What I did the last time worked well, and I felt good while on it. So why not just do that?
To be honest, the thought of being able to eat plain yogurt once in a while sounds pretty good, as does spreading almond butter on a slice of Wasa bread. So maybe I’ll choose a plan that allows that.
But that feels like cheating, or like I’m committing some kind of sin. Like I’m changing the rules of my religion to make it more convenient.
I know this is a crazy way to think, but that’s how it is. Many proponents of one or another candida diet are like evangelists. Each one states that theirs is the One True Diet, and that “cheating” will prolong your candida since candida thrives on the forbidden foods, and/or you’ll have to start all over. In other words, the devil’s gonna getcha and you’ll burn in hell.
Ideally, I could center myself, get in touch with my gut and find out what my body needs, but right now I’m so far out of my body that I can only figure it out from way out here. I feel like I need someone else to tell me, which feels like a very dangerous place to be.
So I’ve been scrolling through various recipe lists to get ideas of things to eat. Mostly I’m looking for fast-cooking, low prep kinds of things, regardless of which plan it’s in, but there aren't a lot of those, which is my current problem – grab what’s quick and easy, which is usually not what’s best for you.
Not too excited about seeing so many recipe titles with quotation marks in them. For example, Mashed “Potatoes” (it’s really cauliflower), or Mexican “Pizza” (ground up almonds mixed with water for the crust and rice cheese??) Creamy Nut and seed “Pudding.” I didn’t even look to see what that one was.
Now, these foods could be perfectly tasty, but let’s just call it what it is and not try to make it something else or we’re bound to be disappointed.
Then there are the 15-ingredient muffins. And these are not ingredients like cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg that you can just grab off your spice rack. No. we’re talking Amaranth, Quinoa flakes AND quinoa powder, spelt flour, buckwheat flour, stevia, ghee, some other sweetener I’ve never heard of…
Beneath the text of the recipes, you have people’s comments (sometimes their pictures) about the recipes and slight adaptations they may have made. Like, “Hey Candione, I’ve been searching for a pumpkin quinoa loaf, and this really did the trick! I used a little less rutabaga because of my sensitivity, but it still tasted great! Thanks for sending this it!!! J”
Do I really want to do this?